HoroscopoDiario
When doing a Tarot reading for ourselves, we often find that the chatter of our hopes and fears invariably intrudes. Because of this, it is important to find out how we can silence the voice of our rational mind long enough to enable us to hear our intuitive wisdom. To enable you to do that, I have created a variety of non-divinatory techniques for using Tarot cards to empower you to create the future you want. Here is one that I call “Making Relationships Work.”
Note: Before reading this, you might want to read my introduction to Tarot Self-Empowerment Techniques.
Relationship problems are probably the most common reason why people seek guidance from a Tarot reading. Consequently, I have developed a couple of techniques for using Tarot cards to heal relationship issues. Here is the first one. (I will post the second one soon.)
Typically, our relationship problems are reflective of problems within ourselves, and so the solutions are within us as well. After all, if we are in a relationship that is problematic, we cannot change the other person (although many people try to do that). Ultimately, all that we can ever change is ourselves, and when we fix our internal issues, we usually find that our relationships end up improving as well.
Note that the technique presented here is not limited to dealing with romantic relationships. It can also help you heal non-romantic ones, such as your relationship with a parent, a child, a friend, or a co-worker. Also, not all relationships are salvageable, and some are toxic and should be abandoned. This technique is not designed for such relationships.
This process is designed to help you open up communication with someone in your life, which may be your “significant other” or anyone else with whom you share a close relationship. Being geared toward communication, it involves the participation of both you and your partner. The two of you may use the same deck, or you can use two decks, a separate one for each of you.
The first step is for one of you to look through your deck quickly, cards face up, and intuitively pick the first card that illustrates this relationship or how you feel in it. As you go through the deck looking for a card, be alert for any sort of reaction. If you chuckle when you see a card, pick it. If you cringe, sigh, or wrinkle up your nose, pick it. Even though you may not think your reaction is relevant to your relationship, you will be surprised at how much relevance you will find in it.
Next, the person who chose the card should tell the other person what that card says about your relationship. Describe your initial reaction to the card, and discuss how that might relate to your relationship, how you feel in it, or how the two of you relate to each other.
Then examine the card closely to see additional nuances and meanings beyond your initial reaction. For example, in the Seven of Wands (in the RWS version of the card) look at the guy’s boots. They don’t match. It is as if he dashed out of the house unprepared and in a hurry. What might that say? Maybe you were not prepared for this relationship. Or it may indicate that you rushed into things too quickly.
Now let this examination of what the card says about your relationship open up a conversation between the two of you, but try to remain non-judgmental. Just let the cards express how you feel about the relationship rather than judge or condemn how the other person acts in the relationship. For example, try to say things like, “In this relationship, I feel hurt when you do such-and-such,” instead of, “You do such-and-such all the time, and it makes me mad because you should know better!”
Also, allow yourselves to engage in free association with the images on the cards. For example, the Seven of Wands may indicate that you feel defensive; the Eight of Swords, that you feel trapped; or the Emperor, that your feel dominated and controlled by your partner.
In this discussion, try to focus on the relationship and how the two of you interact in it. Tangential discussions, especially theoretical ones about relationships in general, open up easily, but they tend to be an excuse to avoid the real issues at hand. If you need help keeping this focus, the following suggestion is a valuable technique.
To help you initiate this dialogue or keep it on track, you can try discussing what is going on in the image of the card. Forget about your relationship for a few minutes and just tell a story, as if this card were an illustration for a tale. Let it become as wild and fantastic as your imagination wants it to be. Consider how the character in this card got into this situation. What are they thinking, feeling, and doing now? Where are they going from here? (Note that it might help to record this so you can listen to it later.) Then repeat what you just said in the first person, present tense. How well does what you are now saying resonate with how you feel about your relationship? Let this lead the two of you into a discussion of how all of this may relate to what is going on in your relationship. (This part of this technique was inspired by work that I did in one of Mary Greer’s workshops. For more information about her Tarot work, you can check out her website, https://marykgreer.com)
When you have gotten as much as you can out of the card you chose, let the other person choose one, and repeat the procedure. You can iterate the process of picking a card and discussing its relevance to your relationship as often as you want.
Note that it is also useful and interesting to use this general procedure in a group setting, such as an entire family, a class, a club, or a work group. It can stimulate discussions about the group’s interpersonal dynamics and how each person feels that they fit into the group, or not, as the case may be.
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